i'm a looser

yes i am.
but actually i'm not sure yet.
i don't know,, it just came from my self.
how pathetic?
huh.
i hate my self.
why?
why?
why?
i can't do something right.
i always made mistakes.
i'm stupid silly girl!
damn.

i hate my self when i faced him.
i can't speak normally.
i can't be my self, hell no!

i only watch him from back side.
i only sit at the back.
i just see him from far.

i want to reach him, but i can't!!
he's to perfect for me.
i can't do nothing.
but he can do many things.
i wanna cry, but for what?
crying for my self? my condition?
huh, maybe yes, but i'm not sure.

i hate feeling this damn thing.
love or falling in love.
it hurt me and my feeling.
because i knew my self.
I'M A BIG LOOSER.